OMG I like vanilla sex

We were testing the Ibuzz (you can read my review here). It feels great. Having CGs cock inside me always feels great.

CG isn’t having any problems with all the kit and I’m pretty sure he’s ready to come. I really need to come but I don’t think I can.

I stop him and as he looks confused, maybe concerned, I ask him to disconnect everything. He says “what, right now”. I nod and he does as I ask. I move above him and he slides back into me. No vibrating bullet filled cock ring, no music, no wires, no distractions. Just CGs hands on my hips and mine on his chest. He is holding me firm as he pumps into me from below. I arch my back and grind down onto him and within minutes I am coming and so is he.

He says, “that was fucking intense”. It turns out I’m a vanilla sex girl.

photo credit: tanakawho

Sex Toy Review – The Zone

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New Toys

I got into the office late on Friday afternoon to find a parcel from the lovely people at OnJoy. They had sent me The Zone, the Pleasure Ball Massager and a Blow Guard. I was so keen to get my hands on The Zone that I unwrapped it in the car on the way home. My plan had been to wait until Sunday, when we have the entire day to ourselves, to test out of these toys for OnJoy (oh, did I mention I’m going to be doing some toy testing for them here on the blog). I was meant to be spending Friday evening preparing for the party we are having this evening. So, whilst I knew I didn’t have time for a proper play I did allow myself 20 minutes to look them over. The Zone is pictured above (I think it looks a bit like a gaming joystick), the Ball Massager is just that, a big purple and pink ball, and the Blow Guard had me in stitches at the thought of going down on CG looking like a hockey player. So, more on these toys as I get to grips with them over the next week or so!

As I say, the plan was that I’d be prepping for the party as CG wasn’t due home until late. However he surprised me, and himself when he found a bed covered in sex toys, by coming home early. But by this time I was cooking - so no time for fun. Anyway, the evening didn’t go quite as planned. Basic prep done he took me off for a spin in his ultra sexy motor (is it wrong to get quite so turned on by the fast driving of a powerful car by a masterful man?!), we had a fabulous Thai meal and drank two bottles of wine. The net result being all I can remember about what followed in bed was he allowed me more exploration of my ultimate fantasy with the help of this little bit of kit from LoveHoney (can I promote two companies in one blog post?!). He also let me do something far more intimate and controlling – but we’ll leave that for another post.

Roll on lazy Sunday is all I can say!

Sex Toy Review - iBuzz Two Vibrator

The Product: I was seriously excited when this turned up. A sex toy for couples! The iBuzz Two is a “music-activated” sex toy; you plug in your ipod, connect up the headphones and you and your partner enjoy the sensations from two vibrating bullets (a “rabbit “ and cock ring). I love my music and I love my rabbit (although my fav is sooo much larger than this one!) and I love having sex. What more could you ask.

It’s also a great looking product. Slightly garish colours on the rabbit and cock ring (pink for the girl blue for the boy!) but the control unit is a nice tidy white box with silver panel which has a blue neon light behind it.

Positioning: Firstly, you need to connect the whole thing up. You do NOT want to be doing this in the heat of passion. The cables are not very long so if you are using this as a couple you need to be pretty close to each other (which of course isn’t a problem if you are using it during sex). However, I challenge anyone to change positions whilst using the IBuzz! The cock ring has two rings, one for the cock and one for his balls. It has a “nubbed top” for clit stimulation if you are using it during sex. If used solo the bunny is nicely shaped to fit against you whilst the ears tackle your clit. Personally I found it difficult to work out how to position the bunny during sex. However, with the nubbed bit and the vibes running through the cock ring that wasn’t such an issue.

Functionality: If you use it with the ipod it vibrates in time with the music. If you use it without an ipod it has 4 pulsing patterns and 11 speeds. More than enough. As with the Bang Bang Bunny Rabbit vibrator I found the ears a little small to give me the sensation I need to climax. However, it certainly gets you on the way.

Doing the business: I think this about more than just getting you off. It’s less about having a wank and more about pleasuring yourself or sharing a sensual/sexual experience. However, yes, it does do the job! It’s quite an experience to listen to music through headphones whilst both feeling the same vibrations, especially if you do it whilst having your bloke’s cock inside you. However, I found the cables annoying and not being able to move about was more of an issue than I expected. Used solo it’s a really nice way to pass half an hour or more.

Value for money: The RRP is £40, but LoveHoney are currently selling the IBuzz for £20. It’s a great looking sex toy, it is great fun, it’s something for a couple to share but can be used along. Overall I think it is great value for money.

Rating 7/10
Pros: Great for a couple to share, lots of vibration options and it’s fun. Cons: The cables are very annoying, the rabbit ears could be “stronger”

Sex Toy Review - LoveHoney Jessica Rabbit 2.0 Rabbit Vibrator

The Product: The LoveHoney Jessica Rabbit is a seriously female toy; three different pinks and some pearlescent beads with a shiny silver bit thrown in. In total nearly 10 inches but only 5.5 inches are insertable (which I have to say I found more than enough). It’s got a 5 inch circumference (which seemed pretty life like to me. Although this is guesswork as whilst I’ve measured the cock of nearly every bloke I’ve slept with it’s never been the circumference!). Despite the colours (which maybe some people love) it’s got a great feel to it. Lovely and squidgy whilst still being firm enough to make you feel “full”.

Positioning: The general plan with a rabbit is that you insert the shaft into yourself and position the bunny ears against, or above, or around your clit. I found it easy to insert, even without lubrication (but to be honest I seem to be pretty turned on most of the time so perhaps the rest of the world would need a bit of lube). When it first arrived it wasn’t really the time of the month for me to fancy inserting much into myself but I still managed to get the benefit of the ears. Firstly by holding it upside down and having the shaft away from myself and then also by turning it on its side. I found that the ears working sideways on were quite a different sensation.

One of the problems with the rabbit is that if you want to change the speed of the vibrations it can be a bit of a stretch if you are lying on your back. Also, sometimes you need to hold the end of the shaft to push it properly back into position whilst you are mid action. I’ve never found it comfortable to use lying on my front and standing up requires pelvic floor muscles stronger than those I posses. An option is to sit propped upright with your feet pulled up against your body. Using your heels to keep the rabbit in place. This also totally exposes your clit to the action of the bunny ears. I guess this might be too much for some people. Of course, another alternative is to include your partner in the action!

Functionality: The shaft and the bunny ears both have 3 speeds and can be controlled independently of each other (so you can just have the ears if the squirmy shaft doesn’t do it for you). There is also a “reverse” button to rotate the shaft the other way. . The slowest setting on the ears is pretty high vibrations and I’m sure that’d be enough for many people. I’ve never made it up to level 3. Maybe I’m unique in this but as soon as I come I don’t want any vibrations or probing going on. For this reason I always prefer toys with a simple “off” switch. The rabbit doesn’t have one and if you have it up at full pelt you either have to whip it out and chuck it across the room (as I have done) or run down the speed settings till it shuts off.

Doing the business: This works. I have come within 30 seconds when using the rabbit. I’ve also managed to eek it out to about 6 minutes. I think you’d have to be doing something else (like your tax return) to make it last any longer than that. I am a penetration girl so love the sensation of something inside me whilst I masturbate (in an ideal world this would be CGs cock – but that’s not always practical).

Value for money: It's £25. I found it a bit garish (as I may have mentioned). However, it’s a quality product and I would say great value for money. Really nice feel to it and boy does it work!

Rating 8/10
Pros: Fast worker, nice fit, firm bunny ears, waterproof
Cons: No “quick” off switch, noisy if you have the whole thing on full throttle

Sex Toy Review - Bang Bang Bunny Rabbit vibrator

The Product: It’s a bright pink oval egg covered in nobbles with a little jelly bunny (with “ears”) sitting on top. It has a two foot cable leading to the control unit which has an on off switch and a 7 mode toggle button. The controls are slightly ergonomically shaped to fit nicely in your hand. Also, for couple play it’s probably less threatening visually to the bloke than an 8 inch cock shaped vibrator!

Positioning: Firstly, it’s fairly obvious, but you want to make sure the wire isn’t between you and the bunny. My plan was to lie on my back and nestle the “egg” up against myself with the bunny ears resting on/around my clit. This turned out to be far more complicated than I’d anticipated to the point where I had to turn the light on (I like to masturbate in the dark if I’m on my own!). Even when I had managed that I found that I couldn’t get the angle right and I had to hold the egg in place. I had similar problems when using it sitting propped up in bed. However, it does feel great against the skin and was a nice size once slotted into place.

Functionality: It has 7 different vibrating speeds and patterns (probably just the right amount to give options but not overload!). The fastest vibration was actually painful for me (but other people might like that intensity) and on one setting it felt more like a woodpecker than rabbit ears. I think that was due to the “ears” being so small. You can also easily remove the pink cover and use it smooth. It’s not waterproof and I’m unsure if it’s suitable for insertion.

Doing the business: Basically it does do the job. Now I have worked out what I’m doing with it I have two choices. I can either slam it up to high vibrations and orgasm fairly quickly or if I want a more leisurely wank I can run through the different vibrations/speeds taking my time.

Value for money: For £15 I think you could expect something a bit slicker as first impressions were it’s a bit tacky. However, it does seem well made. I can’t deny it does the job but for me it doesn’t give those body slamming, breath taking away orgasms I have had with other toys.

Rating 6/10
Pros: It does the job, is fairly quiet and has lots of vibration options

Cons: Visually less appealing than other toys and requires both hands to operate

I’m an official Sex Toy Reviewer

I’ve got this great new gig – reviewing sex toys for LoveHoney. On the occasions when I’ve bought toys from them in the past I’ve been really impressed with the service.

So I wrote to them and asked if they were interested in me trying out a few products and writing about them. I was very excited when they said yes. CG was slightly apprehensive, as he has voiced his concern about feeling redundant on more than one occasion!

Anyway, when the parcel arrived he was as keen as me to see what it held. I absolutely love getting stuff in the post. This is what they sent me:

Dream Egg 10 function remote control vibrator
Jessica Rabbit 2.0 vibrator
Magic Power Wand mini vibrator
Bang Bang Bunny Rabbit vibrator
Bada Bing Ring

First impressions: A sea of pink punctuated by the black power wand. Jessica Rabbit is like something you’d buy in a tourist shop along with a “kiss me quick” hat. It shouts sugar overload. But all of it was out of the packaging and being fiddled with in about 10 seconds flat. I resisted the urge to actually test any of it out there and then – as I was starving hungry and some things do sometimes come before sex!

But my plan for later was to try out the Bang Bang Bunny Rabbit first on myself and see if I could tempt CG into giving the sleek power wand a go (as practice for my ultimate fantasy).

Will keep you updated.

PS, I am starting a list of what I’d like to review in the future so please free to give me suggestions!